Calling all wannabe pirates and cutthroats! Have you ever found yourself in a sticky situation that you wished you were better equipped to handle? Do you want to take your pirating skills to the next level? Or become a better thief? You’re in luck! Ananna of the Tanarau has some great advice for you lot (featuring some side commentary by me-just because).
“One of the first lessons Papa ever taught me, back when I could barely totter around belowdeck, was how to sneak around. “One of the most important aspects of our work,” he always said. “Don’t underestimate it.”.
It probably goes without saying that if you’d like to be an A-list thief, your sneaking skills must be top notch. Also, pirates often have to rely on the element of surprise. So, if you’re bad at being sneaky, put that at the top of your “things I need to work on” list.
“Escaping’s always easy, Papa taught me (he’d been talking about jail, not marriage, but still). Staying escaped is the hard part.”
Okay, so say your sneaking wasn’t as good as you thought it was, and you got captured by another group of pirates. You need to be able to make a quick getaway, but it’s not that simple. Just because you’ve escaped doesn’t mean you’re home free- you still have to be on your toes and ready in case the people you ran away from come back for round two.
“Not that I have any qualms about thievery, but it’s always easier to do things on the up and up when you can.”
As a pirate, you never want to draw attention to yourself, unless it’s intentional. Also, stealing things is always more difficult than paying for them. So, to avoid the hassle, try to pay for things every once in a while. (PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: I am in no way serious about this. DO NOT steal. Stealing is bad. That is all.)
“Avoid lying whenever possible. Always leave out information when you can.”
Any good pirate knows that you never want to give away too much information about yourself to others. Mystery is good- it prevents certain people from using personal information against you, and it prevents other certain people from finding you when you don’t want to be found. BUT, you don’t want to lie too much, or else it’ll become difficult to keep your stories straight and it’ll become obvious to people that you’re not telling the truth.
“Cockiness is useful to fake on occasion, but it’ll only get you killed if you believe it.”
Sometimes you have to fake a little bit of cockiness in order to look confident, but don’t ever let that fake cockiness get to your head- it could be fatal.
“But if a girl don’t have her intuition, she don’t got anything. That’s what my Papa taught me.”
Trusting your gut can often be the best way to go when you’re trying to make a spur of the moment decision.
“Ain’t no shame in running from a losing battle, he told me once. Better that than dead”
For those of you who think it’s cowardly to run away from a fight, there’s a difference between being a coward and being smart. Some fights you just can’t win, and you have to be smart enough to recognize that.
“you sometimes got to trust the one person you don’t want to trust”
Pirates must always be ready for when things don’t go as planned, and part of that includes accepting help from people you may not necessarily enjoy being around. Kind of like being tutored by your high school archenemy.
“Beautiful people, things are too easy for ’em. They don’t know how to survive in this world. Somebody’s ugly, or even plain, normal-looking, that means they got to work twice as hard for things. For anything. Just to get people to listen to ’em, or take ’em serious. So yeah. I don’t trust beautiful people.”
Never. Trust. Beautiful. People. So if you see Tyra Banks or Chris Pine coming toward you, you just run as fast as you can in the other direction. No good can ever come from people with looks like that.
“You can’t escape an assassin.”
“Hangings, bumbling bureaucrats, dishonest crewman, jail – those you can talk your way out of, you try hard enough. But this kind of death is the only kind of death.”
Like I said, not ever.
Well….Ananna does find a way around that, but you’ll have to read the book to find out how 😉